Month: April 2018

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Being a parent requires quite a unique set of skills and responsibilities. They are beyond counting and it’s hard to put them all on paper. New things keep arising as kids get older and it’s practically impossible to be ready for every situation that may come your way. However, like any other parent, you probably do have some priorities when it comes to your responsibilities. Of course, making sure your child is healthy, happy and genuinely a good, honest person that has an education which will enable them to have a decent life. However, once you set goals for your children, a new question arises: “How much can I meddle without causing a counter-effect?” This question is particularly important when it comes to education. Are you allowed to influence your child directly if you see they’re making a huge mistake, or should you just step aside and watch them hit a brick wall? Unfortunately, nobody knows the exact recipe as it’s not the same for each parent and child, but there are some aspects you can consider that can help you make a decision and ways to be an influence subtly and effectively.

Teach knowledge-thirst

The key is to start on time. It’s never too early to teach your child about learning and wanting to learn, especially since babies have a natural urge for wanting to know about the world around them. All you have to do is make sure to keep them interested in all sorts of things as they become older. If you’re wondering how to do this, there are a number of mind-stimulating games for children of all ages, puzzles, memory games, strategy games, and many others. However, you need to take part in these games, too, because your child needs to see the way they work and how much fun it actually is.

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Pay attention to preferences

Parents have a nasty habit of wanting to pass their ambitions onto their children. Some of them are lucky enough that it turns out their children do have the same interests, while others can end up in tears as pushing your children too hard and in a direction they don’t want to take can lead to a complete disaster including dropping out and giving up on everything, as well as mental instability. However, there’s nothing wrong with having high hopes for your child. It’s just that you need to forget about your desires and focus on your child’s. Once you establish this, it’s absolutely OK to do your best to encourage your child to on their way to getting into Ivy League. This involves a lot of moral and financial support, but it’s definitely worth it.

Teach them how to learn

Some parents find it easier to cope with their child’s learning problem simply by doing it instead of them. This is a huge NO for all the parents out there. You need to help your child resolve the problem, not do it instead of them. Yes, it’s harder and it demands more time and effort, but it’s your own child, so you need to make time for this type of activity. Try to be there for all sorts of activities, observe and remember how your child learns. You need to see if your kid is a visual, auditory or a kinesthetic learner. After that, you should show them some learning methods accordingly. Many educational problems stem from one’s inability to learn or ignorance about which learning method is best for them.

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Don’t overwhelm them

It is understandable to want the best for your child, but the hard part is to be able to look at your child objectively and determine their potential. It’s not easy, perhaps not even realistic, but once you make your peace with the fact that your child is not perfect and that’s OK, you’ll be able to see things more clearly. Under no circumstances should you push your child to the limit. This will only cause them to shut down completely and give up on everything. So, if you want your child to learn a new language, play sports and also play an instrument, perhaps you should consult them first and then introduce these activities gradually, just so you could keep up with how long they can run the gauntlet. If, on the other hand, your kid does have great potential and can work under all these conditions or, what’s more, finds them stimulating, go for it, just make sure to keep track of the situation at all times.

There are no 100% success rates when it comes to parenting or recipes for parenting. The general advice is to spend as much time with your children as you can and be observant and caring. Sure, you can and should consult people and books, do research, but in the end, you are the one that knows your child best and you should be the one who has the final say. After all, you’re the boss and you love your child the most, so we’re sure you’ll be able to make the best possible decision.

About the author

Claire is a personal and professional development expert who believes that a positive attitude is one of the keys to success. She enjoys life to the fullest in the healthiest way possible and loves to share her insights into the lifestyle, parenting, education, and entrepreneurship. Feel free to reach her on Facebook and Twitter.

Life can be unbelievably tough, with unfortunate events happening to even the luckiest of people. One of the most important lessons that we can teach our children is that of not giving up when things go wrong or start to become difficult. As parents, we always try to teach our children to be as proactive as possible to avoid problems. This simply is not always an option as unplanned bad things happen to everyone. The reaction of us as parents has a much larger impact than the event itself in many cases. The following are events and how to react to them to show teach your kids about resilience.

Fired from a Job

One of the worst feelings in the world is being fired or laid off, especially when you have a family to support. This can send a person into a deep depression where they feel helpless. Don’t be the parent who does not get out of their pajamas because of a setback. Get up early each day and start working on finding a new full-time gig. Your resume needs to be updated ASAP as sending this out a multitude of times will increase your likelihood of receiving an interview. Do not get discouraged if your first few interviews do not go as planned as they can be considered practice for other upcoming interviews. If you aren’t sure that your resume looks great, take a look online at a few resume examples for inspiration

Health Problems

Chronic health problems or injuries in the family can change the way the entire family lives. Dealing with injuries or disease can be extremely frustrating alone, but this compounds when you add the responsibilities of being a parent. If you are injured in some type of accident, it is important not to put off physical therapy. Show your children that even though you might be down, you certainly are not out. Toughness is something that many parents do not teach these days, but it is necessary to be a success in life. Constantly complaining about an injury or condition will teach your children that you are powerless against certain situations. Therapy might be needed for your children in these cases though as health problems can impact everyone’s lives.

Relationship Problems

Relationship problems, for the most part, should be kept from the children as it is a form of stress no child should have to deal with. Working on your communication skills can be a great way to show your kids that relationships are work. Healthy relationships do include fighting, but it is best to do this in private. Do not be ashamed if you have to go to family or relationship counseling as this shows you are working your hardest to remedy any problems. Fighting in the family can be very common, so it is important to take the time to try to mend these problems. Far too many families become disjointed due to members not being able to forgive or a grudge being held so long that now it would be uncomfortable to resume a relationship.

Financial Issues

Financial issues can lead to quite a bit of fighting even in the calmest of households. This is not the time to give up but rather the time to show your kids how hard you and your significant other can work. Picking up a second job is not as difficult as many people think it is especially freelancing thriving unlike ever before. A few hours a day of work can make a huge difference in a monthly budget. One job simply is not enough in many circumstances for people to live the lifestyle they desire. Use financial issues as a teaching point in order to teach your children fiscal responsibility. Far too many people are not taught to budget in a correct manner leading to them mismanaging their money.

As you can see these are just a few of the many situations where you can show your children not to give up. Resilience really is just the refusal to quit even though things might not be going well. Instilling this in your children not only will help them for life, but they can also teach these qualities to their friends as well.

By 6 months of age, a baby’s awareness has usually developed enough that he or she starts to notice when people- their parents, in particular- are gone. Once a baby has started to realize this, separation anxiety often starts from. Separation anxiety can appear in the form of clinginess- crying when you leave the room or are out of your baby’s sight. Sometimes, in extreme cases, the anxiety starts once your baby catches wind that you might be preparing to leave.

Typically, this clinginess is a phase. Regardless, however, it can be hard for parents to deal with as they feel guilty for leaving their child in such an upset state. If you’re stuck battling separation anxiety, have no fear! There are tips that you can use to help kick clinginess to the curb, and we’ve made a list of some of the best below.

Stay calm, cool, and collected.

It can be frustrating and stressful to deal with a fit of tears and rage each time you leave the room, go to work, or step away to use the washroom. Staying calm through times like this can be hard to do, but if you can manage it, it will prove to be effective in battling these upsetting episodes.

Keep yourself calm by taking long, deep breaths and by stopping and counting to 10 if you need a few more seconds to calm down. Don’t yell at your child or raise your voice- doing this will only make matters worse and make your child more upset, and in turn, stress you out more.

Reassure your child.

Before you leave, spend a few moments to reassure your child that you’ll be back and that they’ll be okay while you’re gone. Something as simple as saying “I’ll be back soon, I promise” can do wonders to put a child’s mind at ease.

Even if your child is at an age where they don’t understand what you’re saying, your voice can provide comfort and reassurance.

Make separation quick.

Like ripping off a band-aid, the longer you draw out the process of leaving, the more it hurts your child. When you must leave, and your child starts to get worked up, give them a hug and kiss, tell them you love them, and then promptly take your leave. Although the sounds of your child crying will follow you out the door, they’ll recover from the episode more easily because the event was done and over quickly.

If it’s a young baby with this problem, do the same thing as you would with an older child- a quick hug and kiss and then leave without lingering.

Come up with a goodbye routine.

To make goodbyes as easy as possible, come up with a short goodbye ritual. This can include a high five, a hug and kiss, or a rocket ship around the room, as long as it is quick (as mentioned above) and easy enough that you can be consistent with it each time you leave.

The ritual should be simple and fast enough that you can stick to it even when you’re in a rush. Once you come up with a good routine, be sure to stick to it faithfully- both you and your child will benefit from it. Goodbye routines give your child something to expect and make him not surprised when you leave.  

Practice time apart.

Practice having time apart from your child. Send him or her to a playdate, or to grandma and grandpa’s house, or allow a friend or relative to care for your child for a short amount of time so that your child can get used to being without you. It’s a good idea to practice this before your child starts preschool or daycare to avoid problems with dropping them off.

This can be used with babies, as well. Babies get used to being around their parents just as much as older children do, so allowing someone else to take care of them for even an hour can put a bit of healthy distance between the two of you.

Plan for slow introductions.

If you’re in need of a babysitter so that you can have a much-needed date night with your significant other, plan to have the babysitter arrive a few minutes before you need to leave. Spend these extra minutes engaging with both the sitter and your child. Doing this will allow the child to see the babysitter as less of a stranger and help him or her to feel more comfortable.

Your child might still cry when you leave, but they will be less likely to be inconsolable after you’re gone if they know the person they are left with.

Conclusion

Clinginess is babies and young children are nothing to be ashamed of. It’s normal for children to be reluctant to part with their caregivers. Even if your child suffers from this anxiety, using the above tips and tricks can help to ease the discomfort of it and make saying goodbye as simple as saying hello.

Author Bio

Nancy Shaw is the founder of HiFiveBaby where she writes about common problems encountered by parents and how to deal with them, motherhood in general and FAQs about babies, toddlers, and kids. She provides a scientific and medical basis and also her personal experience as a mom to a wonderful toddler. Now you can explore the joy of parenthood with ease!